When the music's over..

"castles made of sand sleeps into the sea...

2009-11-11T16:52:00.005+01:00

Does mournings finish some day ?

I need you more and more and you're nowhere to be seen.

I miss you.
I need you.
I love you.

I'm loosing my strength and I don't want to fight anymore.
I just want to stop and think.
Think about me. About you. About the future, the past. About who I really want to be. Who I am actually.
I already know who my friends are.
I know that I can count on them, for ever.
But otherwise it's a total blackout.
Since you're gone I can't put a lot of myself into anything.

I'm lost.

..Eventually."

Yeah you come along

2009-07-25T05:54:00.003+02:00

I changed the skin... All that black looked a bit too much emokid for me.

And as said Sloganizer.net,

«White makes me hot !»

I hope you'll enjoy it, my Fabiolito. ( Yes, you're the only fellow interested with my blog. The world isn't ready for my genius. )

Don't you step on my blue suede shoes

2009-07-25T05:16:00.005+02:00

I would like

to give her a part of my hope

a part of my bliss

a part of my strength

I owe her so much

she cares so much for me

I would like

to help him to find someone

seing him happy

to help him with his work

seing him healthy

he cares so much for me too

I want to help them

it's my turn to care about them

so much sacrifices
I have to pay back ...

Maman, Papa,

Je vous aime...

Et Merci.

You won't forget my name

2009-07-25T05:02:00.007+02:00

Ok.

So the answer is No.

No, I won't live with him this year.
I won't live in a flat.

No, I don't have my driving licence.
I don't want to talk about that.

No, I won't work this summer.
I didn't look for a job.

No.
And YES, I'm a sucker.
Yes life is hard those times.
Yes I'm a bit lost.

Anyway, I keep on doing my best, more or less,
I don't know why I never mind too much about issues. Well, it's a good thing anyway.

I'll see.

More I grow up more I give up with my dreams...
Becoming an adult looks like becoming... Disappointed.

What's up, sweet cakes ?

2009-03-11T21:59:00.005+01:00

It's when I see,
that teachers tells me,
That I'm serious at school,
that I know,
They doesn't know me.

It's when I see,
My mom saying,
You won't see them,
That I know,
She doesn't know me.

It's when I see,
Friends telling me,
"You never have issues",
That I know,
They doesn't know me.

It's when I see,
My man saying,
That I don't love him,
That I know,
He doesn't know me.

It's when I see,
Myself keeping on doing,
promises I'll never realize,
That I know,
I don't even know myself.

Who's hip, anyway ?

Wich side are you on, boys ?

2009-03-01T21:09:00.004+01:00

I have made up my mind.
Or not.
I will not go back on them.
Or not.
My life will change soon.
Or not.
We'll see...
...Or not.

Say goodbye to your sorrow, and hello to tomorrow ...

I feel that things are changing. I feel better. In my head. Now it's my body which can't stand anymore. Anyway. I don't mind. I'm strong now.

First I was stunned by their stupidy.
Now I will fight them as Cyrano did. With style.
First I thought they were right about my look.
Now I know that I can be way far sexier than them.
First I tought I couldn't.
Now I know I can. I really can.
I've got friends. It's okay. I've got him. It's more than okay. I've got my brain. It's more or less okay... I know my limits. I know what to do to set them back. It's okay, okay, okay !
I'll see. I hope. I hope so hard ...

Where will I be in six month ?
With what, and who ?...
I keep on hoping...

She's a killer queen

2008-11-07T23:52:00.000+01:00

I'm tired.
Tired of myself, my lack of knowledge, of intelligence, of skills, of taste.
Tired that people loves me only because I seem cute. Never because of my ideas, of my thoughts... No, only because my smallness and my maladroit, awkward manners looks cute. Only my parents loves me for my skills. But unexistant skills, unfortunately.

"To love the others, began to love yourself first."

Maybe it's the real matter...

"take me on a trip I'd like..

2008-11-07T23:08:00.007+01:00

Too much things in so little time...
So much deliberations to take.
So much new issues I have to do with.
So much responsabilities.
So much choices...

I began to think that being far of the ones I love is a part of my destiny. My man. My father. My friends. My family. Even often my mother although I live with her..
If I move to Paris I'll be near of my friends and my father but far from my boyfriend and my mother.
If I stay around I'll be with my man and near from my mother but far from my father and friends.
If I move to where the most interessant colleges are, I'll be far from everybody.
And I can't live without them.
What will I be.. ?
Will..
Will I have my diploma?
Will I have my driving license?
Will I pass my driving license?
Will I live with him?
WIll we love each other for ever?
Will I make new friends one day? And KEEP them?
Will I be happy?
Will we be happy?...
Will I like my studies?
What will I do if not?
What will happen to her?
Will they all be fine...

I hope.. I hope so damn hard...

I wonder how people do, to seems so much hard and happy.
I'm tired of acting like an autist.
I hate this town.
Full of superficial bitches, everybody are bitches, men, women, little ones, old ones, simple ones, smart ones. Everybody. It's the temple of meanness, of superficiality. They hurted, hurts me so much. Moving of this town will be like fleeing from a jail.

I'm so afraid of tomorrow. Is this mean the beginning of my adult life?
How can I truly realize at 17 that I'll be an adult one day... ?

...to go someday!"

Everybody Know This Is Nowhere

2008-04-27T22:45:00.003+02:00

" Ah! bientôt je mourrai, soit de faim, soit du malheur de voir les hommes si durs."

YOUNG.

You don't care if it's wrong or if it's right..

2008-04-20T14:16:00.003+02:00

CYRANO

[...] Que dites-vous?... C'est inutile?... Je le sais!
Mais on ne se bat pas dans l'espoir du succès!
Non! Non! C'est bien plus beau lorsque c'est inutile!
- Qu'est-ce que c'est que tous ceux-là? - Vous êtes mille?
Ah! Je vous reconnais, tous mes vieux ennemis!
Le Mensonge?
Tiens, tiens! - Ha! ha! les Compromis,
Les préjugés, les Lâchetés!...
Que je pactise?
Jamais, jamais! - Ah! Te voilà, toi, la Sottise!
- Je sais bien qu'à la fin vous me mettrez à bas;
N'importe: je me bats! je me bats! je me bats!
Oui, vous m'arrachez tout, le laurier et la rose!
Arrachez! Il y a malgré vous quelque chose
Que j'emporte, et ce soir, quand j'entrerais chez Dieu,
Mon salut balaiera largement le seuil bleu,
Quelque chose que sans un pli, sans une tache,
J'emporte malgré vous,
et c'est...
Mon panache.

Cyrano de Bergerac, Edmond Rostand, Acte V, scène VI.

But all time is..

2008-04-10T21:50:00.005+02:00

I have seen the japonitos today..
I miss them so much, I love them.
They are so lovable, so nice.. Konichiwaaaaa, je suiiiis Mariko ******, Mais tou peux m'appeleeer Marikooo!

Manou loves her japonitos from Yokohama.

'Know what?

Bien des formes dominantes d'humanisme sont agnostiques, mais que pas toutes, genre par exemple le cartésianisme. Yeah dude.

..running out.

the great rock'n'roll swindle.

2008-04-07T22:14:00.002+02:00

« Undermine their pompous authority, reject their moral standards, make Anarchy and disorder your trademarks, cause as much chaos and disruption as possible but don’t let them take you alive. »
Sid Vicious, 1977

Quand ch'rais grande j'serais Wolfmother, ou Sid Vicious. Ou les deux.

Big wheel, keeps on turning..

2008-03-21T21:22:00.004+01:00

When I was 8 I was often wondering what I will be at 15. How will I look, will I think..
When I was 8 I was found of Harry Potter and Pokémon. And I had straight hair.
I was listening to Brigitte Fontaine and Tryo.
Now...
I'm half 16.
I play Pokemon in my computer. I'm talking with my highschool friends of which is the best: psyduck or bulbazaur. My boyfriend watches Pokemon at TV when he's back from his BTS.
I rode the last tome of Harry Potter. In english. All the summer.
And nobody trust me when I say I had straight hair when I was young.
I love the beatles and wolfmother. Tryo is now on NRJ.
Being older is sad... Even if I don't always see the difference.

She's crazy like a fool

2008-03-06T22:03:00.001+01:00

I love you.

"Just listen and find the magic..

2008-03-03T22:26:00.003+01:00

I'm watching Nessy and I think. Really, I try to.

March. Omigod.
Oh girls it's when I see you after weeks that I remember myself that I ACTUALLY have friends. Yes.. That's a pretty good feeling.
I know that even if I am not that kind, only nice people really like me.
That's pretty cool.

But at least friends are not sufficiant.
I'm keeping this bleeding hole.
I think everyone have his own.
"Des méandres au creux des reins"?

Ah, god, I'm writting empty words.
Empty words which will never be read.
Well..

..key."

that's because I'm a good old-fashioned lover boy..!

2008-02-21T18:18:00.002+01:00

Տђձđơψ dit :
sois pas susceptible
Manou <3 dit :
sois pas agressif...
Տђձđơψ dit :
me harcèle pas
Manou <3 dit :
..
Manou <3 dit :
..range ta chambre?
Տђձđơψ dit :
brosses toi les dents

"Gimme Gimme Gimme Gimme Fried Chicken!"

2008-02-08T23:22:00.002+01:00

What's your favorite plate?

- sushis&makis&sashimis.

What was the last thing you ate?

- quick-frozen pizza. Beuh :'(

What food do you want now?

- Hm.. a wok with courgettes potatoes and chicken, salmon&leeks pie, a McChicken, french fries, a cordon bleu, a potatoes omelette, some fried cheese, sushis, dorayakis, and my man's skin..
...
Well well well @_@

What's the meal you do the best?

- fried eggs.. Once a while.

Salt or Sugar?

- Salt.

Of what country do you like the food the most?

- Japan. And maybe Mexico too.

I stop here all that mistakes and I go to bed now.

Et je passe ce questionnaire entièrement issu de mon cerveau (mon estomac?) fertile et boulimique à Louise la reubaille.

"Is it just me..

2008-01-25T00:09:00.000+01:00

YES.

I'm alright, people, YES, YES, YES.
No, I'm not anorexic.
No, I'm not going to fall.
Yes, I'm naturally pale-faced.
Yes, everything is alright.
Yes, I can write again, no problem.

Such lies.

Why people don't understand that I'm only feeling lonely and sad?
That I HAVE to talk with somebody?
That my mourning isn't finish yet?
That, no, I simply CANNOT living happy like everyone else.

I don't want to listen to music. I don't want to read books. I don't want to eat. I don't want to sleep. I don't want to back home. I don't want to be alone.

Me, me, me again. I hate the persons who are always speaking of themselves.
Like me.

Nobody hears my cries, it's the asset of lonelyness.
I'm so afraid of everything, of time, of life, of shadows, of being alone, alone, alone..
Without the people I love.
The people I need.
More I love a person, more I make this person suffering.
They all cried because of me, one day.

I'm late compared with the others, like always..

....Or am I all on my own again?"

'Cause I'm honest, sooo honest..

2008-01-09T18:13:00.000+01:00

Elle m'avait demandé un sandwich au jambon réchauffé et puis un jus de fruit.
Je lui avait déjà donné deux euros, et elle m'a dit que les sales noirs devaient retourner dans leur pays.
Il faisait froid et elle avait pas l'air d'avoir d'appartement, ni de manger souvent, et encore moins de prendre des douches.
Il y avait une queue immense à la Boulangerie, et le moindre sandwich là bas coûte plus de deux euros. J'étais dehors depuis trois heures et j'avais plein de choses à faire à la maison.
Je suis pas allée chercher son sandwich, mais je lui ai redonné un peu de monnaie.
J'ai encore donné des sous a un autre gars, pas plus sympathique que la première.
Je me dis que quand on est dans ce genre de situation, je vois pas pourquoi on devrait être sympathique avec les gens.
Je suis rentrée.
Il y a une minute j'ai eue envie d'un sandwich au jambon.
'Pis j'y ai repensé.
Ben j'ai plus faim...

And cats in the craddle and silver spoons

2008-01-09T18:10:00.000+01:00

Manou <3 dit :
je veux manger des sushis et de la pizza
Manou <3 dit :
et m'endormir contre toi
Manou <3 dit :
et avoir toujours les cheveux lisses comme en sortant du coiffeur
·#恋 Տђձđơψ 操·# ·$55 Za D'Yesa·$·0 -- telnet towel.blinkenlights.nl -- dit :
lol
·#恋 Տђձđơψ 操·# ·$55 Za D'Yesa·$·0 -- telnet towel.blinkenlights.nl -- dit :
te faut pas grand chose pour être heureuse mon amour

ouééééééé j'fais comme les fashions qui se moquent des autres fashions en faisant genre "lol j'suis s0 h4ppy..* :)"
Voilà voilà.

Et sinon, Nicolas Sarkozy vas bien, merci.

And I think to myself..

2008-01-06T02:50:00.001+01:00

Actually, you're just a little thing.
Well, a very cute little thing, ok.
But you were been the same day I was. June 8th. Such a pretty day, I think.
And so I love you so much.
It's strange, I do not understand them, so we cannot talk of real things, I don't know what they like, what they think, maybe they are fascists, they eat kitties, they are selling drugs to children, I don't even know, but I love them so much.
Sooo much..
They're so touching, and this little thing, I like it so much, why I feel such a link between us?
Welcome in our world, Lucas.
You're only six month and there already is somebody who loves you at the other side of the planet.

....

Beuh c'est trop niais tout ça, demain je vous parle de Kadafi, du SIDA, des sdf qui crevent de froid, de Sarkozy, de la grippe, de la guerre, du racisme et du pouvoir d'achat des français !

On est la Minikeums generation

2008-01-05T01:29:00.001+01:00

Même si en maternelle on s'aimait pas, et qu'en primaire c'était la star de l'école et moi déjà une no-life SAF (Sans Amis Fixes, haha), même si elle m'a brisé le coeur en 5e, même si on a déménagées chacunes de notre côté, même si on se parle jamais, même si on s'est pas vues depuis deux ans...

C'est ma première keuhpine, et la personne la plus drôle que je connaisse. Personne d'autre qu'elle ne peut sortir des vannes pourries aussi naturellement. C'est l'incarnation de la nostalgie pour moi..Tes blagues de CP, elle me font encore rire maintenant, Marion.

She's a superfreak

2008-01-03T22:14:00.000+01:00

putain mais JE VOUS AIME vous!

Sorry Mrs Robinson

2007-12-30T01:49:00.000+01:00

Simone & Garfünkette, bientôt chez vos disquaires. :)

(a presque deux heures du mat', on s'amuse avec ce qu'on peut.)

(t'es vachement mieux, retouchée :D)

Smell like teen spirit

2007-12-29T20:16:00.000+01:00

Moi je comprend pourquoi j'ai craqué sur Julien il y a deux ans..

'Miss you Bryan. Sincérement.

Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side

2007-12-28T23:25:00.000+01:00

Jonas, my life, my wife.

I love you

Je t'aime

Ti amo

ai shiteru

Ich Liebe Dich !

( ça te rapelle rien? )

. 4 ans déjà que j'ai compris pourquoi vous et pas d'autres :) .

<3

Even santa's gonna be a sex pistol for a day.

2007-12-28T23:04:00.000+01:00

"...And since this year, everybody have to eat too much or croak alone in the gutters."

Merry X'mas anyone :)

rising up, back on the streets..

2007-12-12T22:34:00.000+01:00

Seeing Persepolis with my french class...

...And add it to my favourite movies when I am back home.. :)

(If you didn't already see it (shame on you), run to the nearest videoclub and watch it, you dumbasses)

"See how they run..

2007-12-12T22:20:00.000+01:00

Today I feel sad.
Tomorrow Kumiko and Akihiko will leave.
For ever.
To Japan.
Japan.
And I did not say them "goodbye".
I do not even know if I will see them again one day.

What is the japanese for "I will miss you" ?..

Today I feel lonely.
I was getting sick and when I tell it to my friends, they did not care.
When I said "I'm going to fall, I feel bad, I'm nearly crying." they answered "ah?". And nothing else.

Today I feel dumb.
I know all the language mistakes I made in this "message".

Today I don't really feel anything.
Nobody cares of what I say.

..I'm crying."

Turn out the lights.

2007-12-11T22:29:00.000+01:00

J'ai fait ce blog pour suivre Louise qui fait toujours les choses mieux que moi et en premier, la pute.

Y'a des trucs que j'aime et des trucs que j'aime pas.
J'ai 16 ans et j'ai horreur des adolescents.
J'aime dessiner mais j'aime pas scanner.
J'aime les photos mais j'ai pas d'appareil.
Je finis toujours pas envoyer chier les gens que j'aime, pour me tourner vers ceux qui m'énervent.
J'ai des milliers de chansons sur mon pc qui n'a pas le son.
J'emporte tout les jours mon Ipod qui n'a plus de batterie depuis 4 mois.
Je fais mes devoirs dans les matières qui ne me posent pas de problèmes et ne révise jamais pour celles où je suis nulle.
Je me plains quand tout vas bien et je refuse de parler de mes problèmes.
Je ne m'engeule qu'avec mes amis.
Je ne sors jamais et je deteste rester chez moi.
Je suis toujours fatiguée et je deteste dormir.
Le télephone m'angoisse et j'apelle tout le temps.
Je suis pourrie-gatée et complétement laissée pour compte.
Je veux être psycologue et personne ne me comprend.
J'adore lire et je deteste les littéraires.
Et je ne raconte que de la merde passé 21 heures.. :)